“Sometimes “No” is the kindest word.”
― Vironika Tugaleva
All she ever heard:
Was no you can’t go!
No you can’t stay!
No you would not like this at all!
No you won’t fit in!
No it’s not your type of people!
No I don’t want you following me!
No I don’t want to be seen with you!
No can you just go home!
As she hung her head in defeat and retreated to the place in her mind where NO was a place of acceptance the phone rang. It was in that moment she realized that NO was the kindest word she had ever heard because in a blink of an eye everything had just changed.
Written by Angie
“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
― Shannon L. Alder
You took a step I took a step
You drank I drank
You cursed I cursed
You stole I stole
You lied I lied
You cried I cried
You were lost I was lost
You chose red I chose red
You gossiped I gossiped
You got angry I got angry
You were happy I was happy
You lead and I followed
We shared one brained because you were my influence
I don’t look like you
I don’t act like you
I don’t want to do what you do
I don’t want to be what you are
I don’t like red I like purple
I like to laugh and be happy not angry
I like who I am!
I was created to lead and not to follow
Life is too valuable to conform to the image of someone else
Pretty Hurts (view YouTube Video)
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller
The first time I heard “hey beautiful” I cried because now the image that had been created by words from people who didn’t know better and my thought pattern over the years was finally erased!
As a child I would study people because I was told so often I was not the correct image because my standards didn’t measure up to all others. I was told I was pretty because my skin was light and my eyes were light but I did not have the right body type. “You would be so pretty if you would just lose a little weight!” I heard this in my family. I heard this in my work place! I heard it even when people didn’t think I could hear them! I heard it in my church! As a young child it hurt and as a result I became an adult that was hurt as well! I suffered from a disease called PERFECTION! I suffered from bulimia! I suffered from insecurity! I put on the best clothes, nails were always done, hair never out of place and I still was not meeting the standards of the WORLD! The words were choking the life out of me.
I watched and prayed for countless children as I was growing and even now into my adulthood because of the standards that are being put on them. One in particular that stood out was Blue Ivy. She was called all kinds of names by adults because of how her hair looked. I look at Lil Kim and how her whole image of self has changed because of the words spoken to her. I look at Michael Jackson and numerous other celebrities and understand that this world has set standards that one can never live up too. We also have celebrities that have these images that people think they have to live up to. Where do we draw the line? Or do we create our own line? We have children killing themselves daily because of these standards. WORDS HURT! Don’t let people set standards pertaining to your LIFE! While I was teaching my child I was learning the same thing!
Most of us are not equipped to handle the words that are used to choke the life out of us! We live in a world full of superficial people of who standards we would never live up to. It is time for us to set our own standards. It is time for us to use our words to help build and not tear down. Teach your children the difference between pretty and beautiful! When you do this you are also teaching them the difference between healthy and unhealthy! Anything that is causing a person to die slowly on the inside it isn’t healthy. This is not a fat or skinny thing! This is not a black or white thing! This is not a poor or rich thing! It’s not a girl thing or a boy thing! This is a HUMAN thing!
I did everything I could do to live up to the standards of others until I realized there was a difference between pretty and beautiful.
- Pretty attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome.
- Beautiful possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind
I never understood that beauty was skin deep until I met two people who looked past my outside and told me what I looked like on the inside. Well into my adulthood words that were spoken from my youth were still holding me hostage. They were able to explain that being pretty can fade away but what is on the inside is what really counts. They were used by God to show me my heart! They helped develop me into what I was called to do! I love being me! The PRETTY vs. BEAUTIFUL battle is now over!
Now don’t get me wrong I still think it is necessary to keep yourself clean and presentable but now it is according to the standards that I set for myself and not someone else. Now when I looked at myself in the mirror I know longer see the girl trying to be pretty I see the woman who is beautiful! My life changed the moment my mindset did!