One day you wake up in 2016 and it seems as if the world has reverted. As if I was living in a bubble the world seem to be showing itself for what it really is; which is divided. The silence has been deafening for so many years but no one was speaking. Look around, listen closely and don’t speak and you will hear the sound of breaking hearts. Hearts that have to hear your baby is not coming home because someone didn’t value their lives. Hearts that have to hear your child was the wrong color in the wrong place even though they have freedom to be wherever they please. Hearts that have to hear your family is not welcome because they just do not fit in. Hearts that have to hear your child was wearing the wrong thing! Hearts that have to hear they should have just listened to what they were asked to do! Hearts that are being broken because this world is so full of hate! It’s not just a black or white thing it’s a HATE thing that I can not get with!!!
Hearts that has to hear that your family members who are police officers that are to serve and protect is either serving and protecting or maliciously taking the life of someone else. Confusion is stirred up and fear becomes the force of retaliation. The hands that are dripping blood are crying out for help. Who will pull them to safety? Who will continue to close their eyes to what is going on around them? Who will stand up and say this is enough and change the current situation?
Look past the color of the skin and listen to the cries of the heart. The people children once looked up to are scared to see them driving by them. In their minds they relate police officers with death not protection. When we younger all the kids in the neighborhood played cops and robbers because in our mind only bad people were supposed to be caught. Everyone wanted the role as the cop but now I do not even think any kid would want to do that especially with what the media is portraying.
I had a conversation with a seven year old who said he wanted to be a cop when he grows up because he can kill whoever he want no matter what they do. I asked him why would he say something like that and his reply was “because they do not deserve to live.” What are we teaching our children? What are we showing our children? How do you explain to a seven year old that is the wrong mindset and that is not the role of a police officer? It is time for us to speak out and let our children know that no one deserves to be treated wrongly. However it is also time for us to speak out and let everyone know that everyone police officer is not out to harm the people. Every police officer is not racist! Every white person is not a bad person! Every black person isn’t lazy and a criminal! Every Muslim is not a terrorist! Every Mexican is not an illegal immigrant! Speak out and teach your children now so they will not grow up to have an one-sided thought process. Stop the racial profiling if you expect the world to get along with each other.
Can you hear what your silence is doing to this world???
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Your way is not my way and my way is not your way! I embrace you and you embrace me without thinking I should conform to your way of thinking or doing things. When you look in the mirror embrace your way of life and realize all that comes along with it! Don’t turn your nose up at me! Don’t point your fingers at me! Don’t whisper when I walk by! Don’t laugh at me and I will give you the same courtesy.
Created to be yourself not a duplicate! Looking around you will see so many people who are different shapes, colors, sizes, genders and nationalities. No one is greater than the other so embrace our way of life..
We all have a path laid out before us. If you veer to the left or right you may end up falling just like I will…so again our way of life belongs to us not others.
Never lower yourself to the level of others by trying to justify who you are….do yourself the greatest favor and accept who you are and those things you don’t like then change them!
“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”
― Audre Lorde
As she peered throughout the room she noticed how everyone looked so different. She pulled her mirror out of her purse to make sure everything was up to par so no one would have a reason to look at her weirdly. She did not realize everyone else had the same feelings inside except one person. Almost simultaneously everyone put their hands together as if they just realized they were all different. It got them to wondering…..
Instead of embracing their differences they all tried to find what would be the best option that would keep people from noticing them. Some pulled their hoods over their heads. Some put on their sunglasses and others just tried to find a place to hide. Uncertain of which direction to take they slowly tried to find a way of escape but to no avail. As if a light bulb came on at the same time all their eyes were drawn to the one person in the middle still enjoying himself. The one that was so confident that embraced the UNIQUENESS they were born with! The one that was not afraid to walk in the confidence of knowing their differences is what made them unique.
Short in stature
But grand in boldness
Peculiar in looks
But the confidence that overpowered every negative thinker in the room
He wore his uniqueness like a fine suit because he knew it was what made him DIFFERENT
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller
The first time I heard “hey beautiful” I cried because now the image that had been created by words from people who didn’t know better and my thought pattern over the years was finally erased!
As a child I would study people because I was told so often I was not the correct image because my standards didn’t measure up to all others. I was told I was pretty because my skin was light and my eyes were light but I did not have the right body type. “You would be so pretty if you would just lose a little weight!” I heard this in my family. I heard this in my work place! I heard it even when people didn’t think I could hear them! I heard it in my church! As a young child it hurt and as a result I became an adult that was hurt as well! I suffered from a disease called PERFECTION! I suffered from bulimia! I suffered from insecurity! I put on the best clothes, nails were always done, hair never out of place and I still was not meeting the standards of the WORLD! The words were choking the life out of me.
I watched and prayed for countless children as I was growing and even now into my adulthood because of the standards that are being put on them. One in particular that stood out was Blue Ivy. She was called all kinds of names by adults because of how her hair looked. I look at Lil Kim and how her whole image of self has changed because of the words spoken to her. I look at Michael Jackson and numerous other celebrities and understand that this world has set standards that one can never live up too. We also have celebrities that have these images that people think they have to live up to. Where do we draw the line? Or do we create our own line? We have children killing themselves daily because of these standards. WORDS HURT! Don’t let people set standards pertaining to your LIFE! While I was teaching my child I was learning the same thing!
Most of us are not equipped to handle the words that are used to choke the life out of us! We live in a world full of superficial people of who standards we would never live up to. It is time for us to set our own standards. It is time for us to use our words to help build and not tear down. Teach your children the difference between pretty and beautiful! When you do this you are also teaching them the difference between healthy and unhealthy! Anything that is causing a person to die slowly on the inside it isn’t healthy. This is not a fat or skinny thing! This is not a black or white thing! This is not a poor or rich thing! It’s not a girl thing or a boy thing! This is a HUMAN thing!
I did everything I could do to live up to the standards of others until I realized there was a difference between pretty and beautiful.
Pretty attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome.
Beautiful possessingqualitiesthatgivegreatpleasureor satisfactiontosee,hear,thinkabout,etc.;delightingthesensesor mind
I never understood that beauty was skin deep until I met two people who looked past my outside and told me what I looked like on the inside. Well into my adulthood words that were spoken from my youth were still holding me hostage. They were able to explain that being pretty can fade away but what is on the inside is what really counts. They were used by God to show me my heart! They helped develop me into what I was called to do! I love being me! The PRETTY vs. BEAUTIFUL battle is now over!
Now don’t get me wrong I still think it is necessary to keep yourself clean and presentable but now it is according to the standards that I set for myself and not someone else. Now when I looked at myself in the mirror I know longer see the girl trying to be pretty I see the woman who is beautiful! My life changed the moment my mindset did!
“Never be afraid to show people who you really are; healing begins when the masks comes off” Angela Lambert
I am a creature of discipline. Everything is always put strategically where I can easily obtain it even the masks that I wore for years. Masks were a part of my daily outfits because of my insecurities. Where ever I went I had a mask in waiting so that I could put on the best performance of a life time! I never got an Oscar or an Emmy but I should have been named Best Actress of the Year!
Our lives are performances whether we want to admit it or not. Our jobs, our homes, our churches, banks, and schools are all the places that we put on our best performances. We perform for our families! We perform for our employees! We perform for the world!
People love to see entertainment but that was not the calling I had on my life! I was performing job duties that I wasn’t qualified for. I am not an actress! I am an imperfect person put in a world full of imperfect people striving for perfection!
“Sometimes we are so habitual of judging people by their looks and their social status that we miss out on meeting and knowing some of the most amazing people in our lives” Aarti Khurana
Judgment can be a form of bondage if you allow it too keep you from taking the first step. We are all guilty of judging a book by its cover before we even turned the pages. If we are honest with ourselves this goes all the way back to our childhoods. We didn’t pick someone to play on your team because we felt they were not fast enough and they may have turned out to be the fastest kid. We didn’t want to play with someone because they had on dirty clothes not knowing that maybe they didn’t have a washer and dryer like we did. We talked about other children because they had scars and you may not have known they were being abused. We laughed at a kid because they ate so much at lunchtime but you did not know that would be the only meal they had throughout the day. We may choose not to talk to the pretty girl or handsome guy at school because you assume they think they are better than everyone else. However you did not know she was struggling with an eating disorder or he was contemplating suicide. I could make analogy after analogy but the moral of the story is that we miss out on knowing the most amazing people because of our habitual judgment of people.
Amazing people are not all bottled the same! Amazing people walk differently! Amazing people talk differently! Amazing people are living on the streets! Amazing people may live in a really big house and some may live in a run down neighborhood. Amazing people drive fancy cars and they also take the bus! Amazing people are entertainers, the lunch aid or the teacher at your child’s school! Amazing people are not defined by the body shape, skin color, economic or social statuses!
What makes a person amazing is the content of their heart! We will never know the content of a person’s heart if we continue to overlook them. Even though my eyes may be deceiving at times I stopped looking and starting seeing that my life was filled with the most amazing people!
I was asked “what do you see in that person?” My reply was “everything that you don’t!” Angela Lambert
It’s not about what you look at but what you see! Blind people can view the beauty in something that those who have sight tend to overlook.
Our eyes all see things differently. It can be two people looking at the same thing and they both see something different. When I see people the first thing I zero in on is their hair because that is what I do as a profession. My sister on the hand looks right at the teeth because she works in the field of dentistry. Who can look at someone and see their heart? No one because the heart is hidden. So how do you know who a person really is just by looking at them?
Life is about soul searching and getting to know people for who they are not for what they show! You may look at person and not know they just lost a loved one! Or that their job is on the line. Or that their life is in shambles! You don’t know if they are fighting a demon of suicide! Looking and seeing can be deceiving but it’s your eyes so use them accordingly! Just remember if the mirror was placed in your face will you be looking or seeing!
Be mindful how you view others. Never walk past a stranger and not speak you may have just made their day! Never look down on someone because they do not look like you!
The thought I would like to leave you with is that maybe it’s time to stop using the deception of the eyes to view what is hidden.