“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others– it only changes yours.”
― Shannon L. Alder
As each hand tugged slowly at her heart she felt herself slowly losing a portion of it to each one of them. She struggled to stay sane but anger from hurt wouldn’t allow her to walk away free. She would not allow anyone new into her heart because she was still holding onto the resentment from the anger she felt toward those who did her wrong. Her jealousy raged because she tried to do right and everything still did not go as she hoped. So she looked on in envy wondering why they got what she thought she deserved. They had her heart on strings like a puppet.
So much was going on and she could not figure out exactly who had her heart. Did she give it to one that made her angry? Did she give it to the people she loved so much but now resented just as much? Did she give it to the people she wanted to mimic because she thought they had it going on? Did she leave it behind the wall that she built so she would not get hurt again? Did she lose it playing a game of Russian Roulette? Did she give it away trying to please someone else? It became a questionable game to her!
She asked herself question after question and the only answer that made any sense was she lost it when she gave it to the highest bidder. At that point she finally figured out she was forever changed because she no longer was the owner of her heart. “It’s a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”
― نجيب محفوظ If you are questioning your decision then maybe it was not the best one!
“You see, the what ifs are as boundless as the stars.”
― Sally Gardner
If you had only 1000 words left to say….
Would they be used to edify or terrify
Would they be used to build up or tear down
Would you say I love you or I hate you
If I spoke to you would you take the time to say hello or continue to just walk by
If I didn’t understand would you take the time to explain
If I said hateful mean things to you would you say I forgive you
Would you say I am sorry
Or it was all a misunderstanding
Or would you scream at me
Or yell foul things at me
Go ahead and ask yourself if I have reached my 999th word what is the last word I would want someone to hear come out of my mouth
Mine would be thankful!!! What would your last word be……
Always take the time to choose your words carefully because you may never know when your last word will be…
Pretty Hurts (view YouTube Video)
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller
The first time I heard “hey beautiful” I cried because now the image that had been created by words from people who didn’t know better and my thought pattern over the years was finally erased!
As a child I would study people because I was told so often I was not the correct image because my standards didn’t measure up to all others. I was told I was pretty because my skin was light and my eyes were light but I did not have the right body type. “You would be so pretty if you would just lose a little weight!” I heard this in my family. I heard this in my work place! I heard it even when people didn’t think I could hear them! I heard it in my church! As a young child it hurt and as a result I became an adult that was hurt as well! I suffered from a disease called PERFECTION! I suffered from bulimia! I suffered from insecurity! I put on the best clothes, nails were always done, hair never out of place and I still was not meeting the standards of the WORLD! The words were choking the life out of me.
I watched and prayed for countless children as I was growing and even now into my adulthood because of the standards that are being put on them. One in particular that stood out was Blue Ivy. She was called all kinds of names by adults because of how her hair looked. I look at Lil Kim and how her whole image of self has changed because of the words spoken to her. I look at Michael Jackson and numerous other celebrities and understand that this world has set standards that one can never live up too. We also have celebrities that have these images that people think they have to live up to. Where do we draw the line? Or do we create our own line? We have children killing themselves daily because of these standards. WORDS HURT! Don’t let people set standards pertaining to your LIFE! While I was teaching my child I was learning the same thing!
Most of us are not equipped to handle the words that are used to choke the life out of us! We live in a world full of superficial people of who standards we would never live up to. It is time for us to set our own standards. It is time for us to use our words to help build and not tear down. Teach your children the difference between pretty and beautiful! When you do this you are also teaching them the difference between healthy and unhealthy! Anything that is causing a person to die slowly on the inside it isn’t healthy. This is not a fat or skinny thing! This is not a black or white thing! This is not a poor or rich thing! It’s not a girl thing or a boy thing! This is a HUMAN thing!
I did everything I could do to live up to the standards of others until I realized there was a difference between pretty and beautiful.
- Pretty attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome.
- Beautiful possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind
I never understood that beauty was skin deep until I met two people who looked past my outside and told me what I looked like on the inside. Well into my adulthood words that were spoken from my youth were still holding me hostage. They were able to explain that being pretty can fade away but what is on the inside is what really counts. They were used by God to show me my heart! They helped develop me into what I was called to do! I love being me! The PRETTY vs. BEAUTIFUL battle is now over!
Now don’t get me wrong I still think it is necessary to keep yourself clean and presentable but now it is according to the standards that I set for myself and not someone else. Now when I looked at myself in the mirror I know longer see the girl trying to be pretty I see the woman who is beautiful! My life changed the moment my mindset did!
“Sometimes we are so habitual of judging people by their looks and their social status that we miss out on meeting and knowing some of the most amazing people in our lives” Aarti Khurana
Judgment can be a form of bondage if you allow it too keep you from taking the first step. We are all guilty of judging a book by its cover before we even turned the pages. If we are honest with ourselves this goes all the way back to our childhoods. We didn’t pick someone to play on your team because we felt they were not fast enough and they may have turned out to be the fastest kid. We didn’t want to play with someone because they had on dirty clothes not knowing that maybe they didn’t have a washer and dryer like we did. We talked about other children because they had scars and you may not have known they were being abused. We laughed at a kid because they ate so much at lunchtime but you did not know that would be the only meal they had throughout the day. We may choose not to talk to the pretty girl or handsome guy at school because you assume they think they are better than everyone else. However you did not know she was struggling with an eating disorder or he was contemplating suicide. I could make analogy after analogy but the moral of the story is that we miss out on knowing the most amazing people because of our habitual judgment of people.
Amazing people are not all bottled the same! Amazing people walk differently! Amazing people talk differently! Amazing people are living on the streets! Amazing people may live in a really big house and some may live in a run down neighborhood. Amazing people drive fancy cars and they also take the bus! Amazing people are entertainers, the lunch aid or the teacher at your child’s school! Amazing people are not defined by the body shape, skin color, economic or social statuses!
What makes a person amazing is the content of their heart! We will never know the content of a person’s heart if we continue to overlook them. Even though my eyes may be deceiving at times I stopped looking and starting seeing that my life was filled with the most amazing people!
I was asked “what do you see in that person?” My reply was “everything that you don’t!” Angela Lambert
It’s not about what you look at but what you see! Blind people can view the beauty in something that those who have sight tend to overlook.
Our eyes all see things differently. It can be two people looking at the same thing and they both see something different. When I see people the first thing I zero in on is their hair because that is what I do as a profession. My sister on the hand looks right at the teeth because she works in the field of dentistry. Who can look at someone and see their heart? No one because the heart is hidden. So how do you know who a person really is just by looking at them?
Life is about soul searching and getting to know people for who they are not for what they show! You may look at person and not know they just lost a loved one! Or that their job is on the line. Or that their life is in shambles! You don’t know if they are fighting a demon of suicide! Looking and seeing can be deceiving but it’s your eyes so use them accordingly! Just remember if the mirror was placed in your face will you be looking or seeing!
Be mindful how you view others. Never walk past a stranger and not speak you may have just made their day! Never look down on someone because they do not look like you!
The thought I would like to leave you with is that maybe it’s time to stop using the deception of the eyes to view what is hidden.