Desperation

Desperation

“That if desperate times call for desperate measures, then I’m free to act as desperately as I wish.”
Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

 The situation is like this: freedom of choice!

Buy a car or steal a car

Get an education or drop out

Argue or walk away

Study or fail

Follow or lead

Respect or disrespect

Honor or disobey

Do or doubt

Love or hate

Kill or heal

Give or take

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I can go on and on with the comparisons of choices but desperation causes people to make rash decisions.  You never know what another person is faced with until you are put in their position. It’s easy for us to say what we would not do but you just don’t know.

The seemingly mountains that are before you will cause you to question your decision making patterns in life. Do I have a choice? Desperate measures leads to desperate actions:

The mother who can’t feed her child and the kid is looking her in the face. The dad who could not pay his rent because he was laid off from work. The child who has test sitting in front of them knowing if they don’t pass the test it would keep them from passing the course. The young man who is trying to fit in with the crowd because he always felt alone. The young lady who is being pressure into having sex but she don’t want to lose the only person she feels that has ever loved her. The kid that is sexually confused but afraid to vocalize it so they experiment with their thoughts.

 

Desperation draws you into territory you have never traveled before…

 

Desperation will cause you to make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation….

Desperation will cause you to forget your integrity….

Desperation will cause you to pull a trigger…

Desperation will cause you to turn a trick, cheat on a test, join a gang, steal, kill, lie…….

WE are free to act as desperately as we wish however in the end the CONSEQUENCES belongs to us!!!!

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You decide…..

You decide…..

“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.”
― Lemony Snicket

Rational: based on reason or logic

Irrational: not logical or reasonable

Fear can get the best of us….

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What causes a grown person to turn into a gold medalist track star when they see a spider? What causes a person with limited one-sided thinking to all of a sudden become a Phd holder in a subject because they think they know it all? What cause an individual to stay in the home and never want to leave their home? What causes people to make hate comments about someone else? What causes people to turn their backs on the very people who have helped them?

FEAR of..

being right

being wrong

being loved

being scared

rejection

of death

of living

I could go on and on with the “what causes” questions but all the answers would be the same and the answer would be “fear.”  FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)! Late summer and early fall somehow someway centipedes always find their way into my bathroom in the middle of the night. The night light is on and of course at 2 or 3 am your eyes can play tricks on you. However, my eyes always seems to zoom in on the spider with millions of legs looking at me. First reaction is panic and then it’s fight or flight. My option is always flight and I pray I don’t have to use the bathroom again before anyone else gets up in the morning so they can kill it first. (When I look back it really is amusing)

So I ask myself was that rational fear or irrational fear. HMMMMMM in my mind it is rational fear because in my eyes it’s a killer bug that is going to take me out. But in retrospect my fears are irrational because the bug is running just as fast as I am in the other direction. So we both are scared for our lives and do not know why!!!

Fear is a powerful thing if your allow it overtake you in the wrong way. Irrational fear will cause you to make decisions that you would not make had you been in your right mind. Now do not get me wrong what I may think is irrational someone else may think it is rational in their mind and vice versa. When I was maybe 23 or 24 my best friend from high school died at the age of 25. With me not understanding completely what was going on in her body and the medical conditions she had I ceased living because I had fear that I would not make it to 25 either. I was careful and cautious of every move I made and was just waiting for my life to end the same way. My mother died of breast cancer at 48 so again this was a moment of rational fear in my mind that I was going to die the same way so every lump from the age of 30 was a death sentence for me in my mind. I confined myself to one place in my mind because I could not rise above the fear of death.

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Another moment of rational fear was when I was in the bank down the street from where I worked with some of my co-workers. I was standing in the teller line and I saw a man outside of the window show me his gun. I told my co-worker and the person in the bank and security was sent out there but he disappeared only to appear again when we were walking across the street to get lunch. Due to the some quick thinking and lots of praying we lost him because he followed us into the restaurant but we quickly darted out of the opposite door. I could have hid and never went outside again or into that bank but that is not how life works so I had to overcome that fear and keep on living.

Living in fear is one of the worse things a person could ever do in life.  It causes you to miss out on life and in a vapor of a second life can end just like that. You decide rather rational or irrational is fear important enough for you to just give up on your dreams. You decide is fear important enough to miss out on living each day to the fullest. You decide if fear is important enough for you to run in the opposite direction of where you should be going (even if it is a spider lol). You decide if fear is important enough for you to miss out on important events. You decide is fear important enough for you to hate someone based on how they look instead of trying to get to know them. You decide if fear is important enough for you to be giving someone the side eye because they are doing what you desire to do!

It is time to face your fears and rise about everything that is keeping you from moving forward!!!

fear

Angela L.

Who has your heart?

“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others– it only changes yours.”
― Shannon L. Alder

As each hand tugged slowly at her heart she felt herself slowly losing a portion of it to each one of them. She struggled to stay sane but anger from hurt wouldn’t allow her to walk away free. She would not allow anyone new into her heart because she was still holding onto the resentment from the anger she felt toward those who did her wrong. Her jealousy raged because she tried to do right and everything still did not go as she hoped. So she looked on in envy wondering why they got what she thought she deserved. They had her heart on strings like a puppet.

tugging heart

 

So much was going on and she could not figure out exactly who had her heart. Did she give it to one that made her angry? Did she give it to the people she loved so much but now resented just as much? Did she give it to the people she wanted to mimic because she thought they had it going on? Did she leave it behind the wall that she built so she would not get hurt again? Did she lose it playing a game of Russian Roulette? Did she give it away trying to please someone else? It became a questionable game to her!

question

She asked herself question after question and the only answer that made any sense was she lost it when she gave it to the highest bidder. At that point she finally figured out she was forever changed because she no longer was the owner of her heart. “It’s a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”
― نجيب محفوظ  If you are questioning your decision then maybe it was not the best one!

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