The art of trying to be perfect

The art of trying to be perfect

“Imperfection inspires invention, imagination, creativity. It stimulates. The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive.”
Jhumpa Lahiri

We look to be perfect in everything we do but only because we take a measuring stick and compare it with others.

The moment you stop comparing, you will see how you can take your imperfect moments and turn them into a moment of reflection, correction and redirection.

I call myself a creative imperfect clothes designer. When I get in front of my machine my imagination will just go wild. The moment that I get stuck trying to create I decide to open up YouTube to find a video that will give me the boost I need to get me back on track.

I like to do things quickly so I will find the quickest video that can give me some ideas because if it is over 7 to 10 minutes they will lose me. After studying this video over and over again I turn it off and tell myself you got this. After spending 4 hours some times trying to create what they did in 10 minutes give or take some time because they fast forward the video I look at the end results and get frustrated.

“The eye always fills in the imperfections.”
Rabih Alameddine

I know I am not alone when I say what the heck did I just do as I beat myself up with words because I just created the perfect MESS! However, after I reflect, correct and redirect my whole purpose of why I started I tell myself stop comparing and be an original. We have to have an example to follow but never use the example as the measuring tool of perfection.

My best work comes after my imperfect moments. The art of being perfect is to stop trying to be something you will never be.  Accept the imperfections and grow from them.

 

Ms Angie

As she poured from her cup…..

“There is no envy, jealousy, or hatred between the different colors of the rainbow. And no fear either. Because each one exists to make the others’ love more beautiful.”
― Aberjhani,

colors

She never came empty handed her cup was always pouring…….

She knew she was creating a rainbow of colors all from different mixtures of life…..

She knew her rainbow would not just have the traditional colors so she was equipped to take a little of this and mix with a little of that to come up with the perfect colors…..

As she poured from her cup…..

She realized that some colors would be harder to blend and she didn’t want them to stand out so she added some softness of her tint and hue to it……

She took the petri dish and gently mixed the colors together so that one color would not outshine the other….

She added a dab of this and a dab of that because her goal was a beautifully blended rainbow that would reflect agape in the purest form

As she poured from her cup……

She knew in order for the rainbow to do what it was intended to do she had to let each color know you were chosen with a purpose and goal in mind

She knew that the beauty of the rainbow was better reflected when each color took its rightful place

rainbow 4

We needed something to express our joy, our beauty, our power. And the rainbow did that.”

Gilbert Baker

 

Dedicated to Pastor Robyn Langston

Angela Lambert

She said…They said…

She said…They said…

She said go the extra mile

They said set boundaries

She said never look them in the face

They said the eyes are the windows to the soul

She said you just have to learn to live

They said you must give to live

She said never trust people their actions speaks for them

They said put your trust in God and he will never fail you

She said life is too short to waste on people

They said life is about what you do for others

She said it’s okay to be selfish because people are to you

They said be more selfless and watch what comes back to you

The moral of it all is we all have that “she” in our lives but in order to make it in the world and really enjoy life and people take the advice from “they” because they are living what they say!!!

August!!!

August!!!

“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.”
― Mark Z. DanielewskiHouse of Leaves

 

In August your expectation is that things will start to change. The end of summer is slowly approaching. Your relaxed routine is about to return to a hectic place for most people and the season as you know it is moving forward.

My August was all of this plus a multitude of storms all coming at one. I didn’t know if I needed an umbrella, windbreaker, an underground shelter or battle clothes. The uncertainty of not knowing what is going to happen next when you are dealing with an analytic person can be overwhelming.

 

Week One

The fight begin….

I over analyze everything but at times I just take the punches and roll with it!!! THIS AUGUST……Mayweather boxed me up for almost 30 whole days not ten rounds like you are used to but for a whole month!! I ducked and dodged but still felt like I had been in the fight of my life.  Uncertainty of what is next had set in!

 

Week Two

The storm came….
Image result for person caught in a stormEverything I had held onto was in a whirlwind and I had to act like everything was still standing in the same place. Vision was so clouded from everything flying up and around me I could not see what was ahead of me.

Week three

Uncertainty and disbelief set in

 

Uncertainty is a silent killer to people who are used to having everything seemingly in order! The tears, the panic attacks, the unanswered prayers, the anger, the feeling of defeat and the despise for others who seems to be breezing through my August storm.

Week 4

The tears were still flowing but I finally started to see a rainbow after the storm

As my August ends and September begins the lesson I took away from this all is winds come to blow you into the area that you are supposed to be in. Sometimes we focus so much on what is wrong that we don’t get a chance to see all the things that are right!

Angie

The Load You Carry

The Load You Carry

“I took it off.
I did not want to carry it with me anymore.”
― AvaYou Are Safe Here.

 

She always looked like she was in so much pain and agony. They judged her by the weight she was carrying on the outside but those who really knew her knew it came from the crown she wore on her head. Often the crown we carry on the outside can never compare to the crown that we carry on the inside……….

CROWN:

of disbelief

of grief

of doubt

of misunderstandings

of worry

of fear

of failure

of hurt

of pain

of confusion

of a broken heart

THEN:

She realized that the way she was carrying the crown was too much. It was weighing her down…….Image result for heavy crown on a head

 

So she took it off!

Angela L.

image by: https://goo.gl/images/AFuQQd

 

 

NO!

NO!

“Sometimes “No” is the kindest word.”
Vironika Tugaleva

All she ever heard:

Was no you can’t go!

No you can’t stay!

No you would not like this at all!

No you won’t fit in!

No it’s not your type of people!

No I don’t want you following me!

No I don’t want to be seen with you!

No can you just go home!

As she hung her head in defeat and retreated to the place in her mind where NO was a place of acceptance the phone rang. It was in that moment she realized that NO was the kindest word she had ever heard because in a blink of an eye everything had just changed.

Image result for explosive

Written by Angie

Desperation

Desperation

“That if desperate times call for desperate measures, then I’m free to act as desperately as I wish.”
Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

 The situation is like this: freedom of choice!

Buy a car or steal a car

Get an education or drop out

Argue or walk away

Study or fail

Follow or lead

Respect or disrespect

Honor or disobey

Do or doubt

Love or hate

Kill or heal

Give or take

 Image result for making a decision

I can go on and on with the comparisons of choices but desperation causes people to make rash decisions.  You never know what another person is faced with until you are put in their position. It’s easy for us to say what we would not do but you just don’t know.

The seemingly mountains that are before you will cause you to question your decision making patterns in life. Do I have a choice? Desperate measures leads to desperate actions:

The mother who can’t feed her child and the kid is looking her in the face. The dad who could not pay his rent because he was laid off from work. The child who has test sitting in front of them knowing if they don’t pass the test it would keep them from passing the course. The young man who is trying to fit in with the crowd because he always felt alone. The young lady who is being pressure into having sex but she don’t want to lose the only person she feels that has ever loved her. The kid that is sexually confused but afraid to vocalize it so they experiment with their thoughts.

 

Desperation draws you into territory you have never traveled before…

 

Desperation will cause you to make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation….

Desperation will cause you to forget your integrity….

Desperation will cause you to pull a trigger…

Desperation will cause you to turn a trick, cheat on a test, join a gang, steal, kill, lie…….

WE are free to act as desperately as we wish however in the end the CONSEQUENCES belongs to us!!!!

cropped-angela-cursive1.jpg

Eight months in…..

Eight months in…..

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

Before I knew it the months had just drifted away. At the end of the year and going into a new year your mind is so full of dreams and visions of how you want things to go. Planning and acting goes hand in hand until you realize that one thing out weighed the other and time just seems as it just got away from you. Change is often inevitable and it can throw you for a loop if you let it. Eight months in and I had moments that I felt life I was walking head on into a strong whirlwind.

strong wind

 

Eight months in….

dreams are still the same

HOWEVER

efforts didn’t line up with dreams

frustration turned into relaxation

motivation left with the time

focus shifted

life changed

people changed

lost love ones

lost friends

lost direction

became discouraged

picked up the fear of failing

THEN

I realized that sitting still changes nothing

Looking back changes nothing

If I wanted something I had to do something different

SO….

I realized…..

That within this eight months I wasn’t the same person because

I forgive more

I love more

I have learned more

I challenged myself more

I made better decision than I have in the previous years

I let things go a lot faster than before

I’m quicker to look pass your mistakes

I’m quicker to ignore imperfections in myself and others

I pray more

I care more

questionable

Although my eight months have been questionable it is not how I started that counts what really matters is how I finish!!!

IN it TO win IT

Angela L.

Stifling creativity…….

Stifling creativity…….

“Clear thinking at the wrong moment can stifle creativity.”

― Karl Lagerfeld

We spend so much of our life trying to prove everything right that we never take the time to prepare to be wrong in order for us to learn from our mistake. It is our moments of not understanding why things are happening the way they are for us to come up with creative solutions to fix the problem.

The problem isn’t that we didn’t know how to fix them it is that we never took the time to think outside of the norm to allow the creativity that is hidden inside to come forth. If you look back over some of the errors that you have made throughout the course of your life you will see how creative you became when it was time to right the wrong.

Your creativity becomes stifled when you wait for someone to help you figure it out. I love to sew and my greatest creations comes from mistakes that I make. I love to see everything just perfect but some times depending on what kind of material I am working with it does not always work out like that. I have crooked lines, and diagonal cuts, button holes too large and sometimes materials that do not mesh well together. It does not make me give up it just causes me to take my oops moments and change them into creative opportunities. They do not always come immediately because my mind is still thinking about the error I made and how can I make it perfectly again.

When my judgement is no longer clear I then have an AH HA moment. The crooked lines are now changed to zig zag decorative lines. The diagonal cuts become high low skirts or dresses. The button holes that were too big are now covered with a decorative flower and a snap is put in the place of the button instead. The fabrics that initially do not look right together now become one of my greatest masterpieces. If I would have never made a mistake I would not have taken the opportunity to figure out how to do something different.

The moral of the story is sometimes it takes making an error and not being able to figure things out at the moment for you to come up with the most creative solution. There is always more than one way to get something done it just takes getting out of self in order to figure it out.ah ha

Angie L.

Pretty vs. Beautiful

Pretty Hurts  (view YouTube Video)

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”  Helen Keller

The first time I heard “hey beautiful” I cried because now the image that had been created by words from people who didn’t know better and my thought pattern over the years was finally erased!

Beyonce

As a child I would study people because I was told so often I was not the correct image because my standards didn’t measure up to all others. I was told I was pretty because my skin was light and my eyes were light but I did not have the right body type. “You would be so pretty if you would just lose a little weight!” I heard this in my family. I heard this in my work place! I heard it even when people didn’t think I could hear them! I heard it in my church! As a young child it hurt and as a result I became an adult that was hurt as well! I suffered from a disease called PERFECTION! I suffered from bulimia! I suffered from insecurity! I put on the best clothes, nails were always done, hair never out of place and I still was not meeting the standards of the WORLD! The words were choking the life out of me.

words hurtI watched and prayed for countless children as I was growing and even now into my adulthood because of the standards that are being put on them. One in particular that stood out was Blue Ivy. She was called all kinds of names by adults  because of how her hair looked. I look at Lil Kim and how her whole image of self has changed because of the words spoken to her. I look at Michael Jackson and numerous other celebrities and understand that this world has set standards that one can never live up too. We also have celebrities that have these images that people think they have to live up to. Where do we draw the line? Or do we create our own line? We have children killing themselves daily because of these standards. WORDS HURT! Don’t let people set standards pertaining to your LIFE! While I was teaching my child I was learning the same thing!

teach

 

Most of us are not equipped to handle the words that are used to choke the life out of us! We live in a world full of superficial people of who standards we would never live up to. It is time for us to set our own standards. It is time for us to use our words to help build and not tear down. Teach your children the difference between pretty and beautiful! When you do this you are also teaching them the difference between healthy and unhealthy! Anything that is causing a person to die slowly on the inside it isn’t healthy. This is not a fat or skinny thing! This is not a black or white thing! This is not a poor or rich thing! It’s not a girl thing or a boy thing! This is a HUMAN thing!

difference

I did everything I could do to live up to the standards of others until I realized there was a difference between pretty and beautiful.

  • Pretty  attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome.
  • Beautiful possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind

I never understood that beauty was skin deep until I met two people who looked past my outside and told me what I looked like on the inside. Well into my adulthood words that were spoken from my youth were still holding me hostage. They were able to explain that being pretty can fade away but what is on the inside is what really counts. They were used by God to show me my heart! They helped develop me into what I was called to do! I love being me! The PRETTY vs. BEAUTIFUL battle is now over!

#prettybeautifulmoment

Now don’t get me wrong I still think it is necessary to keep yourself clean and presentable but now it is according to the standards that I set for myself and not someone else. Now when I looked at myself in the mirror I know longer see the girl trying to be pretty I see the woman who is beautiful! My life changed the moment my mindset did!

Angela