Your words…..

Your words…..

“Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.”
― Orson Scott Card

silent-actions

So many words are hidden inside because often she saw more than she cared to share. So many  words left unspoken because she heard things she shouldn’t have heard but did not think anyone would believe her. Like a pop that has been dropped or shaken one too many times her mind was ready to explode! Look at her eyes they are speaking for her but yet no one hears her hidden words. Look at her body language that was once strong and poise it is now weak and broken!

unspoken

 

 

Lost in her own thoughts! Starring off into the zone that she has created where no one can pull her back but the voice inside of head. She’s silently calling for your help! Can you help her? Can you see her? Did you just hear the whisper of her heart? It is crying out “SAVE ME” but no one came close enough to hear it! The beats of her heart begins to slow down because she thinks no one cares. As she slowly floats away…..

 

Like a vapor she slowly begins to fade back into that safe place of refuge! The place where she can be alone with her thoughts! Drifting….drifting…drifting…away to a place that no one can find her! She wants to be saved but no one can hear HER WORDS!

She is silently speaking..listen closely….help her before it is too latedrifting

We are living in a season where people’s WORDS are not being heard. From the victim of child abuse, to the depressed person, to the scared cop, to the hurting child, to the oppressed man, to the abused woman, to the rejected boy, to the scared man….look at their actions they are a reflection of unspoken words!

Angela L.

You decide…..

You decide…..

“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.”
― Lemony Snicket

Rational: based on reason or logic

Irrational: not logical or reasonable

Fear can get the best of us….

false

What causes a grown person to turn into a gold medalist track star when they see a spider? What causes a person with limited one-sided thinking to all of a sudden become a Phd holder in a subject because they think they know it all? What cause an individual to stay in the home and never want to leave their home? What causes people to make hate comments about someone else? What causes people to turn their backs on the very people who have helped them?

FEAR of..

being right

being wrong

being loved

being scared

rejection

of death

of living

I could go on and on with the “what causes” questions but all the answers would be the same and the answer would be “fear.”  FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)! Late summer and early fall somehow someway centipedes always find their way into my bathroom in the middle of the night. The night light is on and of course at 2 or 3 am your eyes can play tricks on you. However, my eyes always seems to zoom in on the spider with millions of legs looking at me. First reaction is panic and then it’s fight or flight. My option is always flight and I pray I don’t have to use the bathroom again before anyone else gets up in the morning so they can kill it first. (When I look back it really is amusing)

So I ask myself was that rational fear or irrational fear. HMMMMMM in my mind it is rational fear because in my eyes it’s a killer bug that is going to take me out. But in retrospect my fears are irrational because the bug is running just as fast as I am in the other direction. So we both are scared for our lives and do not know why!!!

Fear is a powerful thing if your allow it overtake you in the wrong way. Irrational fear will cause you to make decisions that you would not make had you been in your right mind. Now do not get me wrong what I may think is irrational someone else may think it is rational in their mind and vice versa. When I was maybe 23 or 24 my best friend from high school died at the age of 25. With me not understanding completely what was going on in her body and the medical conditions she had I ceased living because I had fear that I would not make it to 25 either. I was careful and cautious of every move I made and was just waiting for my life to end the same way. My mother died of breast cancer at 48 so again this was a moment of rational fear in my mind that I was going to die the same way so every lump from the age of 30 was a death sentence for me in my mind. I confined myself to one place in my mind because I could not rise above the fear of death.

jar

Another moment of rational fear was when I was in the bank down the street from where I worked with some of my co-workers. I was standing in the teller line and I saw a man outside of the window show me his gun. I told my co-worker and the person in the bank and security was sent out there but he disappeared only to appear again when we were walking across the street to get lunch. Due to the some quick thinking and lots of praying we lost him because he followed us into the restaurant but we quickly darted out of the opposite door. I could have hid and never went outside again or into that bank but that is not how life works so I had to overcome that fear and keep on living.

Living in fear is one of the worse things a person could ever do in life.  It causes you to miss out on life and in a vapor of a second life can end just like that. You decide rather rational or irrational is fear important enough for you to just give up on your dreams. You decide is fear important enough to miss out on living each day to the fullest. You decide if fear is important enough for you to run in the opposite direction of where you should be going (even if it is a spider lol). You decide if fear is important enough for you to miss out on important events. You decide is fear important enough for you to hate someone based on how they look instead of trying to get to know them. You decide if fear is important enough for you to be giving someone the side eye because they are doing what you desire to do!

It is time to face your fears and rise about everything that is keeping you from moving forward!!!

fear

Angela L.

Eight months in…..

Eight months in…..

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

Before I knew it the months had just drifted away. At the end of the year and going into a new year your mind is so full of dreams and visions of how you want things to go. Planning and acting goes hand in hand until you realize that one thing out weighed the other and time just seems as it just got away from you. Change is often inevitable and it can throw you for a loop if you let it. Eight months in and I had moments that I felt life I was walking head on into a strong whirlwind.

strong wind

 

Eight months in….

dreams are still the same

HOWEVER

efforts didn’t line up with dreams

frustration turned into relaxation

motivation left with the time

focus shifted

life changed

people changed

lost love ones

lost friends

lost direction

became discouraged

picked up the fear of failing

THEN

I realized that sitting still changes nothing

Looking back changes nothing

If I wanted something I had to do something different

SO….

I realized…..

That within this eight months I wasn’t the same person because

I forgive more

I love more

I have learned more

I challenged myself more

I made better decision than I have in the previous years

I let things go a lot faster than before

I’m quicker to look pass your mistakes

I’m quicker to ignore imperfections in myself and others

I pray more

I care more

questionable

Although my eight months have been questionable it is not how I started that counts what really matters is how I finish!!!

IN it TO win IT

Angela L.

Can you hear????

Can you hear????

“Silence is so freaking loud”
― Sarah Dessen

silence 4

One day you wake up in 2016 and it seems as if the world has reverted. As if I was living in a bubble the world seem to be showing itself for what it really is; which is divided. The silence has been deafening for so many years but no one was speaking. Look around, listen closely and don’t speak and you will hear the sound of breaking hearts. Hearts that have to hear your baby is not coming home because someone didn’t value their lives. Hearts that have to hear your child was the wrong color in the wrong place even though they have freedom to be wherever they please. Hearts that have to hear your family is not welcome because they just do not fit in. Hearts that have to hear your child was wearing the wrong thing! Hearts that have to hear they should have just listened to what they were asked to do! Hearts that are being broken because this world is so full of hate! It’s not just a black or white thing it’s a HATE thing that I can not get with!!!

broken heart

 

Hearts that has to hear that your family members who are police officers that are to serve and protect is either serving and protecting or maliciously taking the life of someone else. Confusion is stirred up and fear becomes the force of retaliation. The hands that are dripping blood are crying out for help. Who will pull them to safety?  Who will continue to close their eyes to what is going on around them? Who will stand up and say this is enough and change the current situation?

silence 2

Look past the color of the skin and listen to the cries of the heart. The people children once looked up to are scared to see them driving by them. In their minds they relate police officers with death not protection. When we younger all the kids in the neighborhood played cops and robbers because in our mind only bad people were supposed to be caught. Everyone wanted the role as the cop but now I do not even think any kid would want to do that especially with what the media is portraying.

silence 5

I had a conversation with a seven year old who said he wanted to be a cop when he grows up because he can kill whoever he want no matter what they do. I asked him why would he say something like that and his reply was “because they do not deserve to live.” What are we teaching our children? What are we showing our children? How do you explain to a seven year old that is the wrong mindset and that is not the role of a police officer? It is time for us to speak out and let our children know that no one deserves to be treated wrongly. However it is also time for us to speak out and let everyone know that everyone police officer is not out to harm the people. Every police officer is not racist! Every white person is not a bad person! Every black person isn’t lazy and a criminal! Every Muslim is not a terrorist! Every Mexican is not an illegal immigrant! Speak out and teach your children now so they will not grow up to have an one-sided thought process. Stop the racial profiling if you expect the world to get along with each other.

Can you hear what your silence is doing to this world???

silence 3

Angela L.

Our way of life….

Our way of life….

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your way is not my way and my way is not your way! I embrace you and you embrace me without thinking I should conform to your way of thinking or doing things. When you look in the mirror embrace your way of life and realize all that comes along with it! Don’t turn your nose up at me! Don’t point your fingers at me! Don’t whisper when I walk by! Don’t laugh at me and I will give you the same courtesy.

Created to be yourself not a duplicate! Looking around you will see so many people who are different shapes, colors, sizes, genders and nationalities. No one is greater than the other so embrace our way of life..

path 2

We all have a path laid out before us. If you veer to the left or right you may end up falling just like I will…so again our way of life belongs to us not others.

Never lower yourself to the level of others by trying to justify who you are….do yourself the greatest favor and accept who you are and those things you don’t like then change them!

Angela

Looking glass

Looking glass

“Where should I go?” -Alice. “That depends on where you want to end up.” – The Cheshire Cat.”
― Lewis Carroll

 

looking glass

Looking glass

Lost

Once clear

Now cloudy

Can’t see

Searching

No direction

Grasping

Hoping

Seeking guidance

Looked within

Soul searching

Adjusted sight

Clear vision

Shifted Focus

Back on track

No longer lost

It only takes a moment to get off track and it seem like eternity to get back on track.  All that is needed is the shifting of your focus and get back to the place that you left off on!!!

FIND THAT GOOD PLACE!!!

written by Angie

The power of connection…

The power of connection…

“Invisible threads are the strongest ties.”

connection
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Life has a funny way of connecting people. Have you ever felt like you just immediately connect with certain people and you don’t know how it happens?  I don’t have to be in the company of lots of people but some how along the way I end up in a large crowd. I never dive right in but some how, some way I tend to connect with someone in the crowd. As if I become the plug for someone’s electrical socket we just connect. The electricity that comes from that connection is electrifying but not always a good connection!

surge

As powerful as that current is that they may be sending to you via the connection it is up to choose the  right connection. Plugging into power that will bring positive energy and plugging into something that is dead is all up to you. I have had my share of dead connections and for each thing I have learned along the way I am very thankful BUT…. It can take time to disconnect from old habits because somehow those invisible strings are more powerful than you thought. Some even have the potential to burn you!!! Who are you plugged into? What is your connection? Is it bringing you life? Is it draining you?

power 3

There is something about that right connection that make you want to do better and then there is the wrong connection that will drain all the power from you. Whichever way you view it those invisible ties are the strongest!

Tapping in…..

Tapping in…..

“For the person with creative potential there is no wholeness except in using it.”
― Robert K. Greenleaf

 

I was never able to tap into the creative nature inside of me until I learned:

To let people go

To let people grow

To not let everyone’s problems become my problems

To not be everything for everyone

How to forgive

How to live

How to place my needs before others

How to take the time to celebrate me

How to rest my mind

How to rest my body

How to enjoy life

How to smell the roses

How to enjoy each day for what it was

How to go off and enjoy my own company

How to ask for help instead of everyone asking me

How to stop people pleasing

How to cry if I’m hurt

And laugh when I’m happy

How to sit in solace and be content

tattered

It’s time to take the tattered pieces and create something beautiful!

Your life is your canvas pull out your utensils and put them to good use!!!!

Angela cursive

That is what makes you unique……

That is what makes you unique……

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”
― Audre Lorde

As she peered throughout the room she noticed how everyone looked so different. She pulled her mirror out of her purse to make sure everything was up to par so no one would have a reason to look at her weirdly. She did not realize everyone else had the same feelings inside except one person. Almost simultaneously everyone put their hands together  as if they just realized they were all different. It got them to wondering…..

diff 2

 

Instead of embracing their differences they all tried to find what would be the best option that would keep people from noticing them. Some pulled their hoods over their heads. Some put on their sunglasses and others just tried to find a place to hide.  Uncertain of which direction to take they slowly tried to find a way of escape but to no avail. As if a light bulb came on at the same time all their eyes were drawn to the one person in the middle still enjoying himself. The one that was so confident that embraced the UNIQUENESS they were born with! The one that was not afraid to walk in the confidence of knowing their differences is what made them unique.

StandOut1

Attributes:

Short in stature

But grand in boldness

Peculiar in looks

Vibrant personality

Piercing eyes

Squeaky voice

Annoying laugh

But the confidence that overpowered every negative thinker in the room

He wore his uniqueness like a fine suit because he knew it was what made him DIFFERENT

Written by Angela L.

images from google

 

 

Sacrifice…

Sacrifice…

“The most sublime act is to set another before you.”
― William Blake

kid

She wanted to feel special so she forgot all about you and went to seek out some companionship

He didn’t want the responsibility so he left you both to go and live his life

She wanted to feel special so she allowed anyone to try to feel that void

He didn’t care so he moved in and was fine with her making him the number one priority

YET everyone forgot about YOU

Little girl with no name

Little girl with no face

Little girl made to feel shame

Little girl you tried to erase

 She was left to fend for herself

The once innocent little girl became hard and mean

She no longer cried tears she just developed a hard outershell

Once dainty and cute

Now dirty and forgotten

Her mother was in denial

Her father didn’t care either

They sacrificed their child for their own happiness

She put the child off on everyone else not knowing the child only wanted to be with her

He never picked up the slack even when he knew what was going on

reflection

She didn’t want to face the child because she was a mirror image of self

He didn’t want to take on the responsibility

Her child reminded her of what she used to be and it pained her

He looked at her and she reminded him of what he walked away from

Harsh words were spoken

They acted like you didn’t exist

 The child became the sacrificial lamb

But in the end she still waited with open arms just to say:

love you

 The love of a child is matchless never sacrifice it because it is one of a kind

written by Angela

images from Google