You decide…..

You decide…..

“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.”
― Lemony Snicket

Rational: based on reason or logic

Irrational: not logical or reasonable

Fear can get the best of us….

false

What causes a grown person to turn into a gold medalist track star when they see a spider? What causes a person with limited one-sided thinking to all of a sudden become a Phd holder in a subject because they think they know it all? What cause an individual to stay in the home and never want to leave their home? What causes people to make hate comments about someone else? What causes people to turn their backs on the very people who have helped them?

FEAR of..

being right

being wrong

being loved

being scared

rejection

of death

of living

I could go on and on with the “what causes” questions but all the answers would be the same and the answer would be “fear.”  FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)! Late summer and early fall somehow someway centipedes always find their way into my bathroom in the middle of the night. The night light is on and of course at 2 or 3 am your eyes can play tricks on you. However, my eyes always seems to zoom in on the spider with millions of legs looking at me. First reaction is panic and then it’s fight or flight. My option is always flight and I pray I don’t have to use the bathroom again before anyone else gets up in the morning so they can kill it first. (When I look back it really is amusing)

So I ask myself was that rational fear or irrational fear. HMMMMMM in my mind it is rational fear because in my eyes it’s a killer bug that is going to take me out. But in retrospect my fears are irrational because the bug is running just as fast as I am in the other direction. So we both are scared for our lives and do not know why!!!

Fear is a powerful thing if your allow it overtake you in the wrong way. Irrational fear will cause you to make decisions that you would not make had you been in your right mind. Now do not get me wrong what I may think is irrational someone else may think it is rational in their mind and vice versa. When I was maybe 23 or 24 my best friend from high school died at the age of 25. With me not understanding completely what was going on in her body and the medical conditions she had I ceased living because I had fear that I would not make it to 25 either. I was careful and cautious of every move I made and was just waiting for my life to end the same way. My mother died of breast cancer at 48 so again this was a moment of rational fear in my mind that I was going to die the same way so every lump from the age of 30 was a death sentence for me in my mind. I confined myself to one place in my mind because I could not rise above the fear of death.

jar

Another moment of rational fear was when I was in the bank down the street from where I worked with some of my co-workers. I was standing in the teller line and I saw a man outside of the window show me his gun. I told my co-worker and the person in the bank and security was sent out there but he disappeared only to appear again when we were walking across the street to get lunch. Due to the some quick thinking and lots of praying we lost him because he followed us into the restaurant but we quickly darted out of the opposite door. I could have hid and never went outside again or into that bank but that is not how life works so I had to overcome that fear and keep on living.

Living in fear is one of the worse things a person could ever do in life.  It causes you to miss out on life and in a vapor of a second life can end just like that. You decide rather rational or irrational is fear important enough for you to just give up on your dreams. You decide is fear important enough to miss out on living each day to the fullest. You decide if fear is important enough for you to run in the opposite direction of where you should be going (even if it is a spider lol). You decide if fear is important enough for you to miss out on important events. You decide is fear important enough for you to hate someone based on how they look instead of trying to get to know them. You decide if fear is important enough for you to be giving someone the side eye because they are doing what you desire to do!

It is time to face your fears and rise about everything that is keeping you from moving forward!!!

fear

Angela L.

Eight months in…..

Eight months in…..

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu

Before I knew it the months had just drifted away. At the end of the year and going into a new year your mind is so full of dreams and visions of how you want things to go. Planning and acting goes hand in hand until you realize that one thing out weighed the other and time just seems as it just got away from you. Change is often inevitable and it can throw you for a loop if you let it. Eight months in and I had moments that I felt life I was walking head on into a strong whirlwind.

strong wind

 

Eight months in….

dreams are still the same

HOWEVER

efforts didn’t line up with dreams

frustration turned into relaxation

motivation left with the time

focus shifted

life changed

people changed

lost love ones

lost friends

lost direction

became discouraged

picked up the fear of failing

THEN

I realized that sitting still changes nothing

Looking back changes nothing

If I wanted something I had to do something different

SO….

I realized…..

That within this eight months I wasn’t the same person because

I forgive more

I love more

I have learned more

I challenged myself more

I made better decision than I have in the previous years

I let things go a lot faster than before

I’m quicker to look pass your mistakes

I’m quicker to ignore imperfections in myself and others

I pray more

I care more

questionable

Although my eight months have been questionable it is not how I started that counts what really matters is how I finish!!!

IN it TO win IT

Angela L.