“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others– it only changes yours.”
― Shannon L. Alder
As each hand tugged slowly at her heart she felt herself slowly losing a portion of it to each one of them. She struggled to stay sane but anger from hurt wouldn’t allow her to walk away free. She would not allow anyone new into her heart because she was still holding onto the resentment from the anger she felt toward those who did her wrong. Her jealousy raged because she tried to do right and everything still did not go as she hoped. So she looked on in envy wondering why they got what she thought she deserved. They had her heart on strings like a puppet.
So much was going on and she could not figure out exactly who had her heart. Did she give it to one that made her angry? Did she give it to the people she loved so much but now resented just as much? Did she give it to the people she wanted to mimic because she thought they had it going on? Did she leave it behind the wall that she built so she would not get hurt again? Did she lose it playing a game of Russian Roulette? Did she give it away trying to please someone else? It became a questionable game to her!
She asked herself question after question and the only answer that made any sense was she lost it when she gave it to the highest bidder. At that point she finally figured out she was forever changed because she no longer was the owner of her heart. “It’s a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”
― نجيب محفوظ If you are questioning your decision then maybe it was not the best one!